Success from a rally of loved ones and Yes, round 7 over!

For the past week I have experienced the joys and profound meanings of friendship and community, sorrow and grief, and fear - the kind that slaps you when you have a revelation of how much of life is beyond your control. I usually write 3 things to be grateful for - this week it feels like so much more.

A week ago my friends and family helped me put together a benefit. We hit it out of the park raising in total just over $12,000 in one night after just 3 weeks organizing! During the event all I hoped for was that people celebrate, celebrate and celebrate life some more...and they did. The Hugh Pool Band played until 11:00, I got to jump for joy when helping my mom, Amelia and Richie award the raffle and silent auction prizes and most important - that which I am soooo soooo grateful for, is seeing a room full of people who have helped raise me to be the woman I am. I am so lucky to have lived in such an amazing community, surrounded by so many wonderful and giving people. As I looked out over the restaurant at Teddy's and saw Amelia's preschool teachers from the Y, the Thompson's and all the soccer parents, folks who I have worked with over the last 18 years, community organizing colleagues, and my family and friends who have become family - I wondered how did this happen? Maybe this comes when you stop running. Over 20 years ago I fell in love with my life in Greenpoint and Williamsburg. I have tried to let the days that all of you have shared with me teach me to be - to be a mom, a friend, a daughter, a community participant and a woman. I am so thankful for all the lessons!

Then the revelation sweeps by - like a fog coming over the docks and reminds me I could easily sleek back in fear. I won't lie and say that I am not scared...I am terrified some moments and for many reasons this week has been particularly tough. My sister stayed for round 7 and we made it! I said good-bye to my mom after having her here to hold my hand through the last 4 treatments. It broke my heart and warmed me all at the same time. She came when I needed her - and now I have strength and more wisdom. I also have a different understanding of this woman - I love you mom.

My father died. Some of you knew and to others this will be another surprise. I did not speak often of my dad as we were far from one another in spirit and physical distance. I got the call the week before the benefit and struggled with what to do. I missed my chemo for the week and let my brothers and other family members tend to my dad's belongings. What happens in a moment can change all our familiar emotional navigation. It can change who we know and who we don't.

How tricky life is to fool us that it stays consistent. Then we breath and find that it really is ...loved ones die, people get sick with diseases that are frightening and friends and family rally....it all happens if we let it and then it moves on for the next unexpected sometimes joyful and glorious moments - that is what we can all expect.

Over the years I have witnessed your love of community and support to others....then it happened for me. How do I acknowledge this gift - what words say how deep this warmth runs? Felice, Glen and Lee - all the team at Teddy's, all the patrons, Hugh and Jane, R.C and Richie and a restaurant full of love...I recently read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love and I think she said what I am hoping my heart conveys to you all.

"In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices". I thank you all now and forever...

Love,

Jen