Happy Anniversary to ME!

I am alive and well! Just last year about this time, say June 6, 2008 to be exact, I had the rug pulled a bit out from under me. Just a little stage 3 colon cancer, my lovely pup of a lifetime - Blackie, went to that big dog run in the sky and my father died in October. Oh, and Amelia went off to college, and I lost my job - holly cow! No don't think that for even a minute. Yeah, sometimes I think that for a few minutes and then....

You know there are hundreds of thousands of people who are in much more pain and having a far more tragic time than I have ever had - even with my worst years. I have never lived in a national war (maybe a little personal one), my daughter's health and journey has been nothing short of blessed - I am so grateful for her joy and freedom. My friends are always there for me (and I hope I am there for them), my family is trying to find its way back and I have opportunities abounding. I am alive!

You know it really is all in how you look at it. Like it rained for what has felt like 40 days and 40 nights, but see what it brought to my little fire escape garden for us.....Gerber daisies - thanks to Felice!

Three things to be grateful for:

1) rain

2) sunshine

3) color

For anyone who is having a hard time, in any way...my heart goes out to you and may you find peace.

xoxo

Jen

North by North East goes to SXSW

Oh - to wait and ponder....if you wait too long the moment goes and with it the senses - the smells, the laughter, the sounds of what happened...never to happen again in quite exactly the same way. I hesitate to write. I too get caught up in the "suppose to activities" of life...you would think I had learnt that lesson...

March carried me and mine out of the cold. We journeyed down to Austin for family warmth of heart and the sun too. We got all that Texas hospitality from Michael's dad - Phil, and his wife Linda and seeing Clayton - Michael's son. Surprisingly, Amelia joined us for a few days of her spring break and Jeff, Michael's brother, came for a little reprieve. We missed having Jeff's family - Adrianne, Lola Grace and Blake to make the whole Brooklyn clan complete - they stayed back home holding down the fort.

Michael relished in the warmth like a desert lizard. I stood, figuratively, with my hands out to my side whirling around at the prospect of so much newness in my life - family and destinations. I had not been back to Texas in sometime. In April 2007 I went to see Michael before a new job, and before that at about 18 years old. I hung in downtown Austin with friends for a weekend, dancing and taking in the handsome cowboys during the Pecan Festival - just another reason to party in Austin. Before that, my time in Texas was under the escape my mother took with her kids and new husband to live on South Padre Island, in a teepee on the beach, when I was 10 years old....another story.

For that week in March - when that north east cold just won't let loose of your bones in NYC, we ate Texas BBQ (oh I wish I could eat it every day!)

kayaked with the view of the Austin skyline, heard Billy Joe Shaver ...and thought could I live here? I had the good fortune of meeting with folks at The Lance Armstrong Foundation, Andy Miller the VP of Program and Policy, and know there is a strong community here.

Most importantly though is the contemplation of joining two families together and are

we ready? Michael will leave NYC this fall and go back to raising his wonderful son. Amelia will be in her second year of college and I...well I am finding my way in a new life. Will I go south too? Texas - the heart of the Southwest, with rodeos and the open range is familiar and carries memories of my childhood both in Texas and in Colorado - and now something different - something new...

I am grateful to have such full experiences, even the difficult ones, and that I can still wonder the planet and take in all the sights, sounds - the tastes, touch and smell of life.

xoxo

Jen