Good and Giving Can Prevail....

To volunteer or not to volunteer - that is the question? Is it really a question? Or is it a seduction, a transformation of spirit, like the firefighter who answers the call to a brotherhood? What inspires us to get out and give without the financial reward we so often expect of work? What keeps us going back in spite of politics and controversy we might face with our friends and neighbors? I believe some of us by nature are problem solvers as we are driven to community project after community project. Sometimes, we take to our community because our own lot feels too heavy a burden and the distraction of giving – finding direction and importance in life, relieves us from our own struggles. Sometimes we are encouraged by others.

After the election of President Obama, and the grassroots ground swell and momentum of his campaign, a renewal of volunteer efforts went across the nation (see the upcoming conference on volunteering and service). From sea to shinning sea the commitment of volunteering and community organizing has risen. Maybe unemployment aids the statistics with million of Americans out of work and in need of something to keep them busy. Some question does this new army of volunteers replace what should be a job market? Others are throwing whole industries behind slogans of community action. From October 19^th – October 25^th the Entertainment Industry Foundation teamed up with every major network delivering PSAs, and not so subtle programming on the glories of giving (see iParticipate.org).

When volunteering, in spite of the agendas and the conflicts that may arise, and believe me the politics of volunteer work is often as steep a hill and minefield to navigate as any day job, mountains can often get moved. When private enterprise finds the challenges too trifling to address or politicians have not yet been able to string together purpose and benefit to themselves around a community obstacle peoples' passions can create change of biblical proportions. Volunteers get the job done and communities are changed. New services or even policy are developed that leave our lives unrecognizable, and more often than not in a better position than we originally found ourselves
.

I have had the good fortune to work on a number of volunteer initiatives over the years, and although when tired and exhausted I asked "For what am I doing this?", I am reminded of the “For what?” when least expected.

My daughter, who is in her second year of college, and to our great surprise, (you can’t even imagine the tirades of “I will never get involved in my community” quipped by after endless hours of forced attendance to volunteer service alongside mom) informed us that she is the co-president of her Habitat for Humanity campus chapter, is working with her soccer team to raise funds for a training in Brazil, and is a campus representative for Toms Shoes. In case you don’t know Toms Shoes One for One campaign puts a pair of Toms on a needy child’s feet every time you, or I buy a pair.

So as her first fundraiser for Habitat for Humanity came to a close last night, which raised over $2,000 at the production of the Mr. Hobart Talent Show, she called and I asked her how did it go? "Amazing" was her reply…."just amazing to know we were able to do so much!"  I heard her breath let go, and knew she felt proud that she and all her colleagues had brought their community together for something greater than themselves, and that is the “For what?”.

Happy holidays, to all those who are in need of service, and those who give....

Jen

Back to War

Where is the Love? Is it time again to ask some questions? It is complicated...we are all scared, yet, so many lives have already been lost. Can we really afford to keep saying war has been around since the dawn of time? Why? It may be simplistic to be moved by a song and clip of film - maybe not... I wish the world leaders, all, would look into the faces of their ordinary citizens and ask...

Subservient Wages - how do they survive?

After waiting for a couple hours in a room filled with other anxious applicants, I was finally interviewed for a sales position with a prominent retail chain. I was seeking employment to supplement my income around the holidays – hoping there may be an opportunity later to growth with the company.

It was an exciting prospect to be amongst the shoppers and the sparkling stuff we all purchase, with enthusiasm even in a difficult economy. As we shop as an expressions of our love and joy at the holidays, I wondered would I join the team? The recruiter went over my experience as a brand director and how I understood the needs of exemplary customer service; to smile and sell up, diplomatically handle the rush of customers who often are impatient, and create an environment that the consumer wants to return to again and again. How fun I thought!

Then they told me the hourly rate of pay - $8.00. I tried not to look too surprised while being aghast! How does anyone survive on $8.00 an hour? I quickly calculated the transportation costs to and from, lunch (brown bagging would be a necessity) and taxes - realizing my take home would be less than $200.00 if willing to accept a full-time position. At 47, and after two decades of professional experience, would this be it? How naive I was being....

As noted, in an article this past summer, by Aaron Smith CNNMoney.com staff writer… At $7.25 an hour, a full-time worker earns $15,080. At the nationwide work-week average of 33 hours, the worker would earn $12,441. The U.S. government sets the poverty level at $10,830 for one person or $22,050 for a family of four in the lower 48 states and D.C. A worker who is above the poverty level would not be eligible for certain welfare-related assistance.

Prior to the federal increase in minimum wage, the hourly rate of pay in New York was $7.15. Imagine this being an increase in the federal minimum wage of $5.85, which took place in 2007 from as an increase from $5.15 an hour. Immediately I realized, I would be no longer be a part of the middle class or even the working class but bordering on poverty wages, especially in New York City. How do folks survive? How many jobs would someone need to secure at this wage - two, three? No sleep and endless hours of serving others. No wonder our sales associates and service professionals are the most unhappy individuals we encounter on a daily basis.

We all complain about the cash register attendant who is talking on the cell phone, or the sales representative who walks away as we look in dismay while in need of assistance. We assume that this is their job - to aid us, serve us with a smile and resolve our challenges. Really, as a branding professional I am stunned by how can we expect individuals who are treated in a subservient manner to be the best stewards of our products? I am acutely aware of the cost of production, having worked in the consumer products industry for over a decade. I am also aware of the idea and need for profit margins. But as we look at the salaries and profits higher up the ladder - creative, production, marketing and sales executives…why is the person most connected to the customer paid so despairingly different? How is it possible to be an enthusiastic brand representative when you may not eat yourself that night?

It has been so long since I was in this place myself. Over the years I have often felt very uncomfortable when looking around and seeing the faces of folks in these positions, primarily people of color. I am ashamed at what this brings to mind and wonder am I alone with that image? Are so many of us silently walking around and just accepting for our own convenience? At a minimum, as a supplement to the wage, please be courteous to even the most disgruntled associate this holiday season...think of what they are really doing as they serve us.

Home for Thanksgiving...but first she had to leave.

August 26, 2009...I wrote

Sitting in Amelia’s room with her gone – she is back to school for her second year of college, I well up with pride and something I have no words for. There are so many, many moments of reflection, smells, laughter, tears, fears, joys and the complete and unexpected surprises that came with the journey of motherhood.

My nest is now empty again, and my heart runith over. I cry so hard that my chest heaves and the loss feels never ending.

I drove Amelia to school this past Sunday. She was expecting to go up with her dad, but when his plans changed at the last minute we grabbed the opportunity to spend a few days alone. We were unable to do this last year.

I had been secretly wanting to take her up, but feeling a twinge of financial guilt I prepared for her dad to take her, and I would see her later in the year for parents weekend if I could.

Last year we all went up to school with her for her big send off... mom, dad, sister, boyfriend, and then visited again for parents weekend with more extended family. She and I had not had much time alone. I was going through cancer treatments, and needed all the support I could muster, and she needed her whole family to send her off into her next stage – her college career. Her freshman year was an adventure and a dream come true. Amelia had gotten into her early decision school and received an amazing scholarship. When I saw her at orientation, walking the campus grounds, I knew she was at her second home.

In the small northern New York town of Geneva the college keeps the community alive, particularly in these very difficult economic times. I thought of the struggles of pride and gratefulness this community must feel. A year of tuition is probably about the same as many residents annual salaries. The college plays numerous roles in supporting projects ranging from primary education tutoring, supporting the arts, and a campus chapter for Habitat for Humanity. The community brings to the students a steeped heritage of triumphs in democracy and the political shaping of the nation we live in. It has worked in partnership for over 100 years.

Sometimes, I wonder if my daughter relates more to the town’s folk than her schoolmates. Puerto Rican and Irish American (with a few other WASPY ingrediants thrown in) from Brooklyn. Her dad and I separated when she was two, and it has always been a simple middle class life with a careful eye on how to pay for what may come next. Amelia was able to go to camp on a scholarship and traveled because her dad worked for an airline. She and I had the great support of community and friends which filled our lives with much joy.

So, as we headed up for her second year, we stole away for a mother daughter moment as so many times before. We packed the car with her summer belongings, and with her IPod handy headed out. The drive is just over six hours. We talked about what she was hoping to accomplish this year and listened to great music. She and I both love how a song can take you back - holding memories. The Red Hot Chili Peppers were a favorite from her childhood, The Dixie Chicks and my western girl roots - Jack Johnson and Jason Mraz for the fun of it!

By the time we arrived, miles of highway and rain behind us, we picked up her keys for the house. No dorm living - Amelia had applied to the themed houses. This year, with two great friends, and about 15 other girls, she will share an old Victorian near the lake. When we arrive there is another family mov’in in. The dad inquires where’s the hubby? I say working - the story is too long. We will sleep in her room, so we start by moving furniture around for a couple hours – then exhausted we head out to pick up the sheets and blankets at her storage facility, get a bite and fall asleep to the quiet of the country life.

By noon the next day we have all her stuff piled up in the middle of her room. My daughter looks at me and I can see in her eyes – how will she get through it all and start to find her way. She says, “How will I do this alone”? I want to wrap my arms around her and tell her, “You will be fine my little chick. I will help and leave when the time is right.” Instead we head out to go grocery shopping and for a few items at Walmart. I reassure her I am not leaving right away.

Back at the house, a couple hours later we organize all her stuff and put it away. She is settled in. I cook for her one last time and share tips in the kitchen that I hope keep her nourished in more ways than just food for her belly. We eat grilled chicken and veggies made with one skillet and the pumpkin carving knife. The kitchen is not yet stocked. It is 10:00PM and I need sleep, and while more of the girls are arriving my time to leave is coming quickly.

I stir at 4:00AM and find it hard to go back to sleep. There is a breeze coming of the lake and I can feel the city and my own commitments pulling at me. It will be good for the house to wake with one less mom. I shower and pack my stuff up. Amelia wakes and asks what am doing…it is time to leave little one. She sits up and we both cry, hug, and say good-bye for now.

Now coming home for the holidays, I am so thankful for my daughter, and the many experiences we share that shape my life.

Mass Market Goes Green

So the big move has happened - Walmark announces "green" labels insuring that manufacturing and consumption will never really be the same.

Walmart announces that vendors will be required to label how "sustainable" their products are based on 4 categories; energy and greenhouse gas emissions, material, natural resources and "people and communities". For licensing, branding and manufacturing in general this is a move that will be felt considerably. We have all heard how tight the margins are in retail, and with new regulations the cost of producing inevitably goes up. Is the Walmart consumer prepared to pay more?

I for one believe that the masses are just as eager to be ever more conscious in their shopping habits and that the more the supply chain changes the more affordable and "mass" sustainable products will be. Congratulations to Walmart for taking the lead! With Walmart order numbers they will aid already conscious manufactures get a foot hold in a market places and encourage others to change who may have had trepidation. No longer should the environmently conscious products be a niche market branding mechanism, but tangible in the way product is made, shipped, packaged and the final impact - discarded. The consumer needs to be prepared to assume some of the financial and consumption responsibility as well...let's see how that part goes.

See www.armconsulting.me and how I am working on my part!

Jen

Happy 400 years to NYC

Here's to Henry Hudson for finding us - his mistake and our gain. Imagine the mutiny after years and years of exploration and never finding the elusive North-West passage, but to only discover Mannahatta. If you click on the title it takes you to this absolutely fantastic project - The Manhattan Project where you can see NYC communities in 1609 - 400 years ago via computer translations. This is a project of The Wildlife Conservation Society.

With the 400 year celebration - Macy's moved the fireworks to the Hudson and I hear they were spectacular. We could still see the "rockets red glare" from our side of the east river without the crowds.

Check out all the history and activities and celebrate the city on this historical anniversary!

Three things to be grateful for

1) Central Park

2) Prospect Park

3) Any green-way in NYC

We really have the best of so much in this very lovely city.

xoxoxo

Jen

Father's Day

Red Shoes - it is a horrible tale that ends in such tragedy. I thought of the story as I had spent the day trying to be as kind to myself as possible.

It is the first father's day after my dad died last October. Yeah I wish I could say he had been memorialized by a tribute from his children and loved ones...we are spreading his ashes on July 11th on a mountain top in Colorado that is just now going to be accessible. Some will attend - others will not.

Oh how easy it is too hang on to so much - desire, ambition, expectation, and even dreams. All such human qualities. Maybe that is why the story of the Red Shoes is so tragic. The desires of a little girl to have such pretty shoes and feel special - how normal. Hans Christian Anderson is a morbid and frightening man. Or is he? When we wish so much for something to happen, for life to be so much more and fight against ourselves and everything else to satisfy that desire do we grow out of step, lose our footing. Maybe my dad had done that with his life...he was so out of step with those who so wanted him in their lives. Life is a balance. Parenting can be an even more precarious balance. Letting go of what does not come to be is hardest.

When I left the writers group I attended for an hour and looked down and saw the women's shoes that sat outside the meditation room - I stopped. One pair of east Indian slippers with beads, a pair of Converse and a pair of patent mary-janes...and all red. I have two pairs of red shoes - one I wear for business, they are quite fashionable and the other pair when I am feeling a bit childish. I have lots of other shoes too to keep the balance.

Jen

Support and Inspiration

CancerCare and Memorial Sloan-Kettering host The Nineteenth Annual Living with Cancer Conference to benefit people living with cancer, their families, friends, and health care professionals. Yes, I attended.

I sometimes am jealous of the people who can experience life peripherally. Things happen, they put them in a box up on the "life shelf" and that is it. I just dive into the deep end and find my way around. I think it is a compulsion for information, and the illusion that it brings safety. Maybe if I find out as much as I can I am better armed and more prepared. sometimes though too much information is not a good thing. In this case - the cancer case, I am still wading through and determining how much is too much. In this case maybe there is never too much information, help or compassion.

At the conference I made it through the first half, still recovering from the hernia surgery. By the time the workshops rolled around I was beat; crying through the survivors stories, scared and overwhelmed with detail from the update from the American Society of Clinical Oncology annual meeting. I was already pretty on top of the topics (some I need work on - maybe the "living beyond"). Click the link above to go to the conference page and see the offering.

In spite of my early departure I am glad I went. I still hate being a part of this club. I am grateful though - the people are extraordinary. The will to live and the priorities in peoples lives are so clear. And the cancer professionals are catching up with the disease. The cures are personal and treatments are being geared in that direction. No two cancers are alike - with each individual being looked at as the whole person with targeted therapies. Unconventional support is becoming mainstream in the ways of "live plant diets", yoga and meditation and even Reiki - all ideas that even just five years ago were marginalized.

I am looking forward to learning to better accept my membership and living with it for a very very long time.

xoxoxo

Jen

Happy Anniversary to ME!

I am alive and well! Just last year about this time, say June 6, 2008 to be exact, I had the rug pulled a bit out from under me. Just a little stage 3 colon cancer, my lovely pup of a lifetime - Blackie, went to that big dog run in the sky and my father died in October. Oh, and Amelia went off to college, and I lost my job - holly cow! No don't think that for even a minute. Yeah, sometimes I think that for a few minutes and then....

You know there are hundreds of thousands of people who are in much more pain and having a far more tragic time than I have ever had - even with my worst years. I have never lived in a national war (maybe a little personal one), my daughter's health and journey has been nothing short of blessed - I am so grateful for her joy and freedom. My friends are always there for me (and I hope I am there for them), my family is trying to find its way back and I have opportunities abounding. I am alive!

You know it really is all in how you look at it. Like it rained for what has felt like 40 days and 40 nights, but see what it brought to my little fire escape garden for us.....Gerber daisies - thanks to Felice!

Three things to be grateful for:

1) rain

2) sunshine

3) color

For anyone who is having a hard time, in any way...my heart goes out to you and may you find peace.

xoxo

Jen

Picking Doctors...learn from my valuable lessons

When I found the lump on my right side just over a year ago I had a panic attach and went on the internet. Not good! It was a little shocking when I had asked one doctor, "hey feel this" and they said "no - can't feel anything"...I took their hand and said "FEEL THIS"! Their reply..."Oh that...maybe you should see your GYN"?!

What did I learn? Unless you are in the emergency room get a second opinion from a specialist always. I was lucky. The doctors I was referred to were fantastic - minus a couple hiccups. It never ever hurts to get a little more information though. I just had to have hernia surgery - a complication from my original surgery - a 12% risk of infection with colon surgery gives way to hernias.

I chose to have a new surgeon fix me up. I wanted to keep all my care in one spot and have an oncology surgeon this time around. I had moved over to NY Presbyterian Cornell/Weill for my oncology care at the Jay Monahan Center last year with my diagnosis. Going to a specialist - someone who performs that type of surgery or care over and over can give you the comfort that they know what to expect, what to see and when to use new techniques. Although it can be really, really scary in the midst of a crisis take a few days to ask questions...they may be questions that save your life and well worth the time.

Other item to consider when picking any doc...what kind of care are others getting? Do they take all types of health insurance? Do you have to wait long? Is the facility clean and friendly? For those who are strapped and think a private hospital or practice is out of reach - check on programs they may offer for those who are financially challenged. Are these doctors specialists, teaching, published and known in their fields? Are they respected? Start with your health insurance in network providers - it can save you thousands of dollars. If you really need and want to go out of network, again ask the facilities if there is charitable assistance to help with deductibles, medical co-pays and even drug coverage. Needing help is nothing to be ashamed of and it is available.

My experience with NY Pres has been wonderful. My doctors are smart and attentive leaders in their fields. The facility is beautiful, clean, friendly...all things we should not take for granted especially with the cost of health care - we really should come to expect great care.

Click on the title of this entry and you will go to the New York Magazine 2009 Best Doctors list and see how they choose them. We are our own best advocates. Don't be afraid of your health care - make it your right!

For those of you who want to know more about health care challenges and changes go to Obama's health care page and find a local group that can explain the changes proposed or host one of your own....we are so damn LUCKY we can question and create our government! Do not take it for granted - GET Involved!


Hugs,
Jen

Back In the Saddle....

I have been running, swimming, hiking, biking, yoga and all that jazz....most of my life.  Just a few years ago I was a little frustrated and decided I needed to push myself, so what did I do? What any other 5' 2" frustrated woman does...I joined Team In Training and did the NYC Ford Triathlon for the The Leukemia Lymphoma Society.  It was the most exhilarating 31 + mile experience.  I have never forgotten what I gained in each stage.  The .9 mile swim in the Hudson River was the hardest.  I am a swimmer, who went to the gym and put in her time.  I windsurfed, sailed...but was terrified of the loss of control and distance in open water.  I also had smoked on an off over the years - swimming a mile is no easy task...my lungs and heart were feeling the pain...would I make it?

  

I had to really believe I could carry myself through the unknown.  The 24 mile round trip bike up to the Bronx was a quite reprieve - a place to regain energy lost in the swim.  I congratulated myself on what I had accomplished so far and prepped for the end....6.2 miles over and into Central Park.  I had found my high and I was kicking on to the park course and I new I was going to be fine.  

I almost did not finish my training for that journey - friends and family kept saying I had nothing to prove and if I was too tired and the swim was too much that I could bow out....I couldn't.  There have been many tough fears over the years - and at times they have won.  I needed to know I could rely on myself.  I finished, exhausted and triumphant.  

I often meditated on those moments over the last year.  As I write this I wonder...was that experience guiding me for what was to come?  I was not able to swim through chemo because the drugs Folfox (5 FU and Oxaliplatin) - the Oxaliplatin caused unbelievable aching in my nerves in my ears and chest.  I ran on occasion and walked in my good weeks....

Because of the severe vomiting to a point of dehydration and pain I was perscribed a steroid, Ativan, Emend, Vicodin and a few others... I gained 20 pounds - all to get through 12 treatments over 6 months.   I resented the torture to my body, but I made it...it saved me and it was the hardest journey of my life.  I rewarded myself this past Sunday....

Running the More & Fitness Magazine 1/2 marathon with my dear friend Gloria Cruz!  The heat killed the event.  They had to close down the full marathon and cut the half marathon to a "fun run" for the safety of the athletes.  

We did it though!  Gloria and I clocked  7 Miles in 2 hours and 8 minutes.  I am so very proud of myself and my friend.  Gloria had nursed me and her husband through chemotherapy this past year...only to then loose her job and find that her mom is facing colon cancer as well.   Gloria is so deserving of this personal success and so much More...

Three Things to Be Grateful for:

1) A desire to Live

2) Friends to share challenges and triumphs with

3) The joy of accomplishment - it is food for the soul

xoxox

Jen

 

Keeping Track of Cancer

I have a lot to do in my life...one of my new responsibilities is to keep track and up to date on a slippery disease called "cancer".   When I interviewed oncologists, one told me something I will never forget..."This is not a fight, this is a very strategic process and you must act smart...be aware".  There are no guarantees, but I do this with the tools that a number of great organizations out there provide for the cancer community - see "connect with others" on this page.  Under organizations like CancerCare and The Lance Armstrong Foundation you can find information on specific areas of the disease that may be of help for your own individual journey.   Take advantage - these are truly dedicated organizations and are there to help!  

In the past month I have learnt new up-to-date information on Colon Cancer Health with over 1,000 individuals on the teleconference from around the world.  The content featured doctors and nutritionists from MD Anderson, Dana-Farber and the State University of Louisiana - serving as the largest teleconference call in the history of CancerCare.  I also participate in additional teleconferences offered through CancerCare on being a Survivor, am on the message board with the Colon Cancer Alliance and keep a up to date on how I can care for myself in general through exercise, nutrition and spiritual practices or "mental time outs".    You can also help others and make a contribution - I have highlighted both

 CancerCare and LIVESTRONG for your convenience....

From the Manifesto of The Lance Armstrong Foundation:

...."We believe in life.  Your life.  We belive in living every minute of it with every ounce of your being...and that you must not let cancer take control of it.  We believe in energy channeled and fierce.  We believe in focus: getting smart and living strong...Knowledge is power.  Attitude is everything...."

Gratefully,

Jen

North by North East goes to SXSW

Oh - to wait and ponder....if you wait too long the moment goes and with it the senses - the smells, the laughter, the sounds of what happened...never to happen again in quite exactly the same way. I hesitate to write. I too get caught up in the "suppose to activities" of life...you would think I had learnt that lesson...

March carried me and mine out of the cold. We journeyed down to Austin for family warmth of heart and the sun too. We got all that Texas hospitality from Michael's dad - Phil, and his wife Linda and seeing Clayton - Michael's son. Surprisingly, Amelia joined us for a few days of her spring break and Jeff, Michael's brother, came for a little reprieve. We missed having Jeff's family - Adrianne, Lola Grace and Blake to make the whole Brooklyn clan complete - they stayed back home holding down the fort.

Michael relished in the warmth like a desert lizard. I stood, figuratively, with my hands out to my side whirling around at the prospect of so much newness in my life - family and destinations. I had not been back to Texas in sometime. In April 2007 I went to see Michael before a new job, and before that at about 18 years old. I hung in downtown Austin with friends for a weekend, dancing and taking in the handsome cowboys during the Pecan Festival - just another reason to party in Austin. Before that, my time in Texas was under the escape my mother took with her kids and new husband to live on South Padre Island, in a teepee on the beach, when I was 10 years old....another story.

For that week in March - when that north east cold just won't let loose of your bones in NYC, we ate Texas BBQ (oh I wish I could eat it every day!)

kayaked with the view of the Austin skyline, heard Billy Joe Shaver ...and thought could I live here? I had the good fortune of meeting with folks at The Lance Armstrong Foundation, Andy Miller the VP of Program and Policy, and know there is a strong community here.

Most importantly though is the contemplation of joining two families together and are

we ready? Michael will leave NYC this fall and go back to raising his wonderful son. Amelia will be in her second year of college and I...well I am finding my way in a new life. Will I go south too? Texas - the heart of the Southwest, with rodeos and the open range is familiar and carries memories of my childhood both in Texas and in Colorado - and now something different - something new...

I am grateful to have such full experiences, even the difficult ones, and that I can still wonder the planet and take in all the sights, sounds - the tastes, touch and smell of life.

xoxo

Jen

March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month - Think Blue

Check out all the information - early detection is KEY!  Wear blue on Friday March 6th and schedule your favorite check up...talk with your doctor about early screening before 50!  Also please go to the Lance Armstrong Foundation to see all things about "Living Strong" as a cancer survivor.  

So now that I am living day to day - just like you (ok maybe with a little bit of awareness) there are many new endeavors and desires....

1) Bucking for "The Best Job in the World" - applying certainly has inspired the creative juices!  Click to see and oh i just had to...yeah, I know you only wish you had applied too!  

2) Exploring new career options near and dear to my heart - writing, business development, communications & inspiring others to do something "unforgettable".... see my LinkedIn

3) Going to hang out with Michael, Clayton and Amelia in Austin for a little warmth and SXSW

4) Training for the April 26th More Magazine 1/2 Marathon with Gloria Cruz - Go Girls!  I needed to do something just for myself - we all should.

5) Raising $2MM with my friends for the Northside Town Hall Community & Cultural Center

How are you spending your New Year?  I hope happy, healthy and believing!

xxoxoxoxo

Jen

February and the results are in............

As of February 19th, for today, my body is cancer free and this is how I feel...be playful with your lives - Please! Be grateful for your World...

Keep checking back to see what happens next - many surprises!

Hugs and more hugs

Jen

Time to catch up with "What's Up"

Click on title see a bit of old school to the new school of "wassssup"

Along with billions of others around the whole world, on January 15th, I watched and held my breath with hope. 

I had desperately wanted to go to Washington DC and just be in the presence of one of the most historical moments in American.  I was raised in the generation that followed civil rights - an age still wading through the past and ideas of black and white.  How would it be for a culture with such American history and burden to see one of their own take the highest office of leadership?  As much as this election was unifying and beyond - still a black American was being inaugurated to be President of the United States.  The emotion was going to be palatable and run the gamut.  The weather was freezing and the anticipation warming - a melting away of pain.  

I watched the morning news starting at 4:00 AM and the determination of a country as it found its way to the National Mall.  I drove into New York City and up to Harlem wondering inside with my own emotion, my own history.  Over 3,000 NYC school kids, their teachers and families were descending upon the Harlem Armory for their own inauguration party. 

The breath of history was being let out, and a new mix of life without limitation because of color and culture took its place that day.   I felt we had as a world moved into a place were anything is now possible!  Youth brought this change to us...we should respect that and all we do with this experience and what we will leave for them with a new history.

Joy to the World,

Jen

     

Happy New Year! 2009 rings in New Beginnings....

Here is to new beginnings and the joy of celebration just hours after my last chemotherapy treatment for stage III colon cancer. Diagnosed 6 months ago - miles ago, what feels like years ago and then in reality was only days or and minutes ago. It took me some time to post all of this - just over 30 days. Each day it all sinks in a bit more, and each day my energy comes back and the anxiety finds a way out - in my steps out the front door and into my new life as a cancer survivor! It felt like a bad nightmare - was this real? I go mid February for my first PET scan and will take each one as it comes, every few months to help guide my next steps. Thank you to you all for your support and believing this day would come! Thank you thank you thank you....those are my three things to be grateful for - to be thankful!

Love,

Jen

December 29th - 31st Final Chemo treatment

This is going to be a photomontage of the last minutes of the last treatment of what I hope will be my last moments of cancer!  The next post will also be a montage of celebration that happened only hours after the pump came off...two sides to a wicked and hopeful coin.

Three things to be grateful for:

1) No more chemo

2) All my family and friends

3) The desire for no more cancer

Christmas 2008

It was here finally!  I love Christmas... although gifts are lovely to get, I like to give great ones and see how people react.  It feels good to know you have made someone so happy.   I like Christmas so much because it is one of my good family memories, and in spite of the difficulties we faced as kids - when we were little my Mom loved Christmas too.  

We always have a Christmas tree and for the last 18 years Amelia and I have been collecting great ornaments.  Some from my childhood that my mom gave to each of her kids one year, and many have special dates that Amelia will take with her when she moves on and has her first Christmas alone.  So when I pull the boxes out and Christmas carols play on the stereo and the tree has opened in its stand - I really know that the season is here!  As I unwrap the ornament, the memories some great and some sad flood me.  We had one for Blackie this year - a dachsie, and we put the date on it.   

My favorite has to be Amelia's wax candle made in preschool out of crayons "melted with care" and the winter scene made with plaster and real pine cones.  A handicap man Jeffrey helped her and her classmates make the winter scene with a little winter elf.  I think of all that innocence and love - and always have a good cry.  

So this year Jeff, Adrianne, Lola and Blake (Michael's brother's family) came over and we had traditional xmas eve dinner, mussels in wine sauce, lasagna, hearty salad and fresh dressing - and then a delicious assortment of goodies for dessert including Adrianne's flour less chocolate cake - yummy!  

Michael helped me and we finished the last bit of Santa duties and had a wonderful Christmas morning with Amelia and Clayton.  Later in the day a lovely dinner at Jeff and Adrianne's.  We talked to family all day and visited with Joe's parents that night... full of love and lots of luck!

It was easy to remember the importance and understanding of Christmas and giving this year my three things to be grateful for are very easy - Michael, Amelia and Clayton.

Happy holidays - love,

Jen

December 15th #11 without a hitch - xmas shopping with chemo on!

Michael was a bit sick so we decided he could not go with me to chemotherapy, but I could drive myself in and Shelly would meet me - perfect.  Shel would drive me home and I would be there with Michael and he could take me under is own convalescing wing!  How romantic! 

The tough part was that Amelia was home now for the break from school, we had family friends coming the following weekend and then Clayton - Michael's son would come on the afternoon of Monday December 21st.  It was getting crowded and oh so busy just before xmas and I still had a bit of shopping to do!  

So I got the brainy idea to go after chemo to Costco in Long Island City to take a look at a few things.  Good idea for the time line and remember I feel no pain right after chemo - in fact I often remember very little.  So Shel was up for it.  She needed to go by the liquor outlet and so we were off.... I found a great flannel shirt for Michael and picked up a couple bottles of Perseco for my next and to be last chemo treatment December 29th!  

Sometimes what you don't feel and don't know can't hurt you!  So I did not know if I looked a bit out of it, my dear friend Shelly always says I look marvelous, and if I acted a bit strange - well that is par for the course when I am not on drugs!  I was one step closer to being finished with treatment and my shopping - all in a days work while in treatment!

Three things to be grateful for:

1) Shel

2) Shel and Mark

3) Shel, Mark and Michael

xoxoxo

Jen

East meets West documented in treatment #10 December 1st

Round #10 with just two more treatments to go and we are in the throws of the holidays....visitors, cooking, and chemotherapy.  Yikes....Michael is my knight in shinning armor and accompanied me to treatment this time and took care of me for my three days. Did I remember to say "Thank you"...

So as I had described in previous posts my dear friend David Greenhouse with Greenhouse

Holistic has been a guiding light for my alternative treatments including acupuncture.  My acupuncturist Myung-Jin threw no false punches when first interviewing me back in July. Acupuncture would not cure my cancer.  What acupuncture would do and has done for me throughout my treatment - was to aid me in managing pain as the chemotherapy drugs caused tremendous nerve pain in my ears and chest when breathing, manage nerve issues in my hands and feet and aid me in keeping my menstrual cycle regular. Often during chemotherapy neuropathy is quite common - a numbing sensation in the hands and feet as well as a complete loss of menstrual cycles.   My experience of neuropathy has been up and down - but I did retain my menstrual cycle throughout my course of treatment which my doctors found to be a bit mysterious. I attribute these successes to my acupuncture and a diet high in raw fresh juices, fruit and vegetables.  

The plastic tube in the pictures is the chemotherapy pump that I come home with for two days and then we disconnect from the port - so every other week my acupuncture treatments took place while I was having my chemo treatment.  At first I wondered if I would implode!

In addition to the physical health benefits the calming effects of the acupuncture aided in keeping a mental balance and a place where I went once a week that my practitioner not only new but expected me to have a very layered experience at this time in my life.  

My daughter's lovely boyfriend is building his portfolio and I needed a good photographer to record my treatments...photographs by Joe Cruz.

Three things to be grateful for:

1) Friends who are so giving - David and Michelle Greenhouse I can never thank you enough!

2) Mynug-Jin Chung my highly skilled acupuncturist

3) Joe Cruz...thank you for loving my daughter so sweetly and sharing yourself with us

Peace

Jen

Giving Back to The People's Firehouse and NAG - Engine Company 212

So as my treatments are coming to an end I have been rallied on my good weeks to help my community and those who have helped me.

Felice and Jane are leading the capital campaign committee for The People's Firehouse and Neighbors Allied for Good Growth to renovate the Firehouse Engine 212 to be the new home for these two beloved neighborhood non-profits. For those who are unfamiliar The People's Firehouse has organized for the Williamsburg community since the 70's when Engine 212 first faced a shut down and from that time served as a community watch for fire protection - see the WNET film.

Neighbors Allied for Good Growth literally shaped the waterfront of Williamsburg Brooklyn with a number of other key groups and our Community Board. NAG has tirelessly advocated for an inclusive community where not only the gentrification creates accessibility but that they our neighborhood - community is a continue refection in the minds eye of development.

Building the Northside Town Hall
The Engine 212 firehouse was one of several decommissioned in May 2003 after a bitter community fight. The three-story, 6,000 square-foot building will now be given back to the community to become the Northside Town Hall Community and Cultural Center. After a competitive proposal process, Neighbors Allied for Good Growth and The People’s Firehouse, Inc. were awarded the rights to adaptively reuse the former firehouse located at 134 Wythe Avenue in Northside Williamsburg as a community center. The newly redesigned building will house office and meeting space for the groups and other community organizations, as well as exhibition and performance space for local arts organizations. The two organizations are now engaged in a $1.9 million capital campaign to fund the redevelopment of the former firehouse site.

So now it is our turn...both of these organizations need our help to make this all come true. Please email if you have an interest in helping in any way - armproductions@aol.com

Stay posted for updates

Jen