It is the first father's day after my dad died last October. Yeah I wish I could say he had been memorialized by a tribute from his children and loved ones...we are spreading his ashes on July 11th on a mountain top in Colorado that is just now going to be accessible. Some will attend - others will not.
Oh how easy it is too hang on to so much - desire, ambition, expectation, and even dreams. All such human qualities. Maybe that is why the story of the Red Shoes is so tragic. The desires of a little girl to have such pretty shoes and feel special - how normal. Hans Christian Anderson is a morbid and frightening man. Or is he? When we wish so much for something to happen, for life to be so much more and fight against ourselves and everything else to satisfy that desire do we grow out of step, lose our footing. Maybe my dad had done that with his life...he was so out of step with those who so wanted him in their lives. Life is a balance. Parenting can be an even more precarious balance. Letting go of what does not come to be is hardest.
When I left the writers group I attended for an hour and looked down and saw the women's shoes that sat outside the meditation room - I stopped. One pair of east Indian slippers with beads, a pair of Converse and a pair of patent mary-janes...and all red. I have two pairs of red shoes - one I wear for business, they are quite fashionable and the other pair when I am feeling a bit childish. I have lots of other shoes too to keep the balance.
Jen
Oh how easy it is too hang on to so much - desire, ambition, expectation, and even dreams. All such human qualities. Maybe that is why the story of the Red Shoes is so tragic. The desires of a little girl to have such pretty shoes and feel special - how normal. Hans Christian Anderson is a morbid and frightening man. Or is he? When we wish so much for something to happen, for life to be so much more and fight against ourselves and everything else to satisfy that desire do we grow out of step, lose our footing. Maybe my dad had done that with his life...he was so out of step with those who so wanted him in their lives. Life is a balance. Parenting can be an even more precarious balance. Letting go of what does not come to be is hardest.
When I left the writers group I attended for an hour and looked down and saw the women's shoes that sat outside the meditation room - I stopped. One pair of east Indian slippers with beads, a pair of Converse and a pair of patent mary-janes...and all red. I have two pairs of red shoes - one I wear for business, they are quite fashionable and the other pair when I am feeling a bit childish. I have lots of other shoes too to keep the balance.
Jen
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